| I have lived with Panic Attacks and Generalized | | | | Disorder, I began to learn how to cope, who I was |
| Anxiety Disorder for a number of years. At first I | | | | again but still I couldn't sleep. Habit, fear whatever it |
| would have said there is nothing worse than the | | | | was, a good nights sleep was elusive. I took my leap |
| constant heart pounding, hand shaking, nausea and | | | | of faith and came off the anti depressants, I was |
| sweating but over time my biggest fear and | | | | feeling good, the only thing holding me back was |
| constant nemesis was insomnia. | | | | insomnia. Don't get me wrong, it was better, I was |
| If I were to take a year when the Panic Attacks had | | | | sleeping between 4 and 6 hours a night at this point |
| given way to Generalized Anxiety Disorder I would | | | | but it wasn't enough, I needed more and better |
| probably only be able to pick a handful of nights | | | | sleep. Lack of sleep has terrible consequences, |
| when I had slept more than six hours. | | | | inability to concentrate, no patience, illness and looking |
| My problem has never really been falling asleep, I | | | | like I had two black eyes and that was on a good |
| learnt the routine I needed to get to sleep very early | | | | day. |
| on, warm bath, relaxation CD, Rescue Remedy Night | | | | My break through was when I read something that |
| Time and off to sleep. I am sure it drove my | | | | had a different angle, instead of trying to relax there |
| husband insane, whenever he came to bed he | | | | was a different way. Think of times when you have |
| couldn't disturb so we got in the habit of me going to | | | | had to stay awake, on a train and not wanting to |
| bed first and him not daring to step into the room | | | | miss your stop, having to keep awake to feed a |
| until my gentle snores could be heard. Whenever I | | | | new born baby, driving on a long journey, think of |
| read about insomnia it was all about falling asleep, me, | | | | how you felt, the heavy limbs, heavy eye lids how |
| I couldn't stay asleep and I was going mad. Some | | | | desperate you were to stay awake. Then it |
| nights I would sleep for an hour some nights for four | | | | happened, I could get back to sleep. The other thing |
| but never long enough and never "quality" sleep. My | | | | was I realised through all the years of lack of sleep I |
| problem was firstly that I was disturbed by my little | | | | had managed, I had been a good mum, I had got on |
| boy, he has always been a noisy sleeper then the | | | | with work and managed a home. I had coped, I was |
| dreams started, he would talk in his sleep, shout, cry | | | | tired but in that time I had trained for and run a half |
| and whilst he would stay fast asleep, my husband | | | | marathon, got the kids to school and clubs on time, |
| would get up but too late I would be awake. The | | | | cooked good wholesome meals and laughed. It hit |
| second was our cats, shut them out and they | | | | me, it didn't matter if I didn't sleep I could manage. |
| scratched and cried to be let in, let them in they | | | | Over a period of time it happened, I started to sleep. |
| scratched and played. No solution seemed to be on | | | | I am never going to claim that I now sleep 10 hours |
| the horizon. Then came the sleeping tablets, I was | | | | a night, I have two young kids, of course I don't. My |
| terrified of these to start with but soon got into the | | | | cats are still a pain and my son still occasionally shouts |
| swing of them. One I would wake if needed two and | | | | out, but something amazing has happened. I go back |
| I was out for the count for 6-8 hours. I was lucky, | | | | to sleep. I am no longer an insomniac, it was the last |
| no real side effects but I knew they weren't the | | | | piece of the jigsaw puzzle for me and arguably one |
| answer for me, you can't take sleeping tablets for | | | | of the most distressing affects of Generalized |
| ever and they deal with a symptom not the cause. | | | | Anxiety Disorder but I am there, I am a sleeper. |
| I began my recovery from Generalized Anxiety | | | | |